Ordinary Miracle
by SilverStarsAndMoons
Summary: An IzzieAddie love story. Deals with the fallout from the episode, My Favorite Mistake. Hurting after the incident between her and George, Izzie finds love in the strangest of places and with an unexpected person. Thanks all who read it! RAPE THEMES HERE!
1. Not that Unusual

**Ordinary Miracle**

_It seems so exceptional, that things just work out after all – it's just another ordinary miracle today._

**Part 1**

Oh God, oh God . . . why couldn't she remember? It was on the edge of her mind – a little skin, the hot wetness of an open-mouthed kiss, and then –

She squinched her eyes shut. _Concentrate, dammit,_ she told herself. _This isn't helping you. He doesn't remember. He doesn't care. He's married . . . just think about something else. It was one drunken night._ She rubbed her head ruefully. Even after half a mickey of bourbon and countless shots of other alcoholic beverages, she could go for more, if it would make these thoughts just stop.

Izzie leaned her head on the cool glass of the examination room window and blinked a few times, trying to clear her suddenly tear-blurred vision. She had no idea why she felt this way. George was her friend, nothing more. She'd never really felt anything towards him. He was the ultimate Bambi, someone to look after, someone to cuddle and surprisingly, a strong shoulder to cry on after Denny died. So why was she so close to tears? Why did she feel like she was going to burst open? She drew a shuddering sigh.

"Stevens?"

The clear voice fell on the air like crystal, startling Izzie. The blonde-haired intern threw her head up, her brown eyes widening in surprise, a single tear falling on her smooth cheek. "Dr. Montgomery?"

Addison stepped forward. Her red hair was caught up loosely in a clip and some tendrils had fallen, framing her face. Her reading glasses perched on the edge of her upturned little nose and her lips were pushed forward in her customary concentration pout. "Are you going to prep the FOP patient? I've got her booked into surgery for one, and she needs blood drawn."

Izzie nodded, feeling a bit off-kilter. "Of course, I'll go and get the stuff . . . change my gloves, you know . . . and prep her." She started to leave, but another tear slipped down her cheek as she went to pass Addison and she paused, breathing in the other woman's scent for a moment. Addison always wore a very sweet, floral perfume, but this was the first time Izzie had really noticed it.

"Dr. Montgomery? What if . . . I mean, I . . . had sex with someone," she spilled out in a rush, feeling like a fool. "I don't know what to do. What do I do? It wasn't supposed to happen. Seriously."

Addison turned her dark-blue eyes on Izzie and registered gentle surprise. "Stevens, I – "

"I know, but I just needed to tell someone. I'm – I'm just so confused." Izzie's face crumpled. "I just . . . I'm so raw, I haven't felt like this since – and you know, I've missed it, and I've missed being loved and being somebody special, and . . ."

Her voice broke. "I don't know how I feel. I don't know what to do. And . . . I'm lost, I guess." Izzie brought her hands to her face as the tears spilled down her cheeks and her breath caught in a sob.

Addison was completely confused, but she realized the signs of grief in the young intern. She did the only thing she could do. She put her arms around the girl's shaking shoulders and began to rub her back, drawing her down onto a bench outside the examination room. "Shh, shh . . . Izzie, come on, get ahold of yourself. Don't cry." She began to rock Izzie back and forth soothingly.

"I'm sorry, it just hurts. That's the worst, I never said goodbye and it was okay and now it's so sore inside," sobbed Izzie. "And I've done such a potentially horrible thing."

Addison was silent for a moment, holding the girl close to her. Izzie wasn't the only one who'd felt alone and bereft. Addison herself had missed the novelty of loving someone, of always having that warm feeling in your heart when you look into their eyes, the heat when she leaned in for a kiss . . . she leaned her head against Izzie's for a moment, inhaling the sweet smell of her blonde hair, cuddling the soft warm body against hers . . .

"If it's so horrible what you've done, you have one choice," said Addison, her voice growing soft.

Izzie's sobs slowed down and she hiccupped, looking up at Addison. "What?"

Addison looked into Izzie's eyes. "Stop." And with that, she kissed Izzie.

Izzie's teary eyes flew open in surprise and she nearly pulled away, then out of some unborn need, she closed her eyes and hungrily opened her mouth. The kiss was hot, even more so because it was in the open, where anyone could see it. Izzie's hands reached up to Addison's hair, freeing it from its clip, tangling in the fire-red strands, twining the silkiness around her fingers, gently touching her tongue to the attending's.

Addison was actually a little surprised at herself, despite the fact that she'd fantasized about this for awhile. Izzie wasn't known as Dr. Model for nothing – her delicately molded features and snowy blonde looks weren't the type that you could ignore, especially if you were Addison Montgomery, who'd been known for her covert affairs with her "special" students, be they male or female. But she hadn't planned to kiss Izzie in real life, well, ever, and this was a bit of a surprise. She couldn't say that she wasn't enjoying it, however . . . in fact – she dug her nails fiercely into the intern's back – she wanted more.

The kiss lasted for an eternity, both women flushing in their faces, eyes sparkling with lust. When they finally broke apart, they were both nearly gasping for breath. Addison blinked a few times, and put a hand up to her hair, which was cascading over the collar of her white coat. She smiled slightly.

Izzie herself was gobsmacked. Although Addison was an attractive woman and Izzie had experimented with girls before, she'd never actually thought about Addison in any other way but as her boss. That wasn't to say that she didn't feel a frisson of attraction when Addison tossed her hair, chewed on the end of her glasses or gave that slow, feline smile of hers when she was flirting with one of the many male interns, but she chalked that up to, well, nothing, since she never really thought about it.

No, her problem was with George . . . she had to think about what she was going to do about George. Callie would be sure to find out, and then she'd be in even more shit than she already was . . . her mind slid away from the situation at hand and the focus left her eyes for a moment, but promptly returned when Addison grabbed her hand and pulled her into the linen closet.

"Great, now it's my turn for a rendezvous in Ye Olde Sex Closet," Izzie quipped, closing the door behind her. Her face grew serious. "Addison, I – "

"No, it was my fault . . . I shouldn't have taken advantage like that. Stevens . . . Izzie," sighed Addison, taking Izzie's other hand. "You are so beautiful when you cry."

"Well, that's a first," said Izzie, grinning satirically. Addison shook her head and smiled too. "That's not what I meant. I just – I'm so sorry that you're upset, that you're feeling so alone. I wish there was something I could do for you."

Izzie looked at the floor in confusion. "I don't know what I want. I don't know why I did it. He doesn't care, and I miss Denny, and you're really . . . not helping," she finished miserably. "I can't sort out my life when I'm kissing my boss, who I didn't even know SWUNG that way, and who fiddles in front of me with hair clips and horn-rimmed glasses – " Her words were abruptly cut off when Addison covered her mouth with her own, kissing her deeply again.

The second kiss was sweeter than the first, not as hungry. Instead of tasting just heat, Izzie tasted the essence of Addison, her sweet breath, slightly minty from the gum she always chewed. It was also shorter, like a gentle reminder of the lust they had shared on the bench in the hallway.

Izzie broke away first. "Addison, I can't. I just . . . can't. I'm fucked up enough. You don't want to get messed up with me."

She opened the door and throwing a look back at Addison, left the closet. Addison slumped against the shelf, wiping her lipstick-stained lips on the back of her hand. She fixed her hair, smiling to herself ruefully as she straightened her white coat and smoothed down her skirt.

What WAS it with this group of interns?


	2. When Everything is Beautiful

**Chapter Two**

Izzie peered around the corner, her dark eyes darting back and forth, scanning the hallway before she stepped forward to finish her rounds. For the past two days, she'd been trying to work through her feelings for George, and she'd come to a desperate realization that their friendship was never going to be the same again. Callie, thankfully, didn't seem to know what happened, and the two women's relationship had stayed frostily polite.

On the other hand, George had been avoiding Izzie's eyes, and just today, he'd turned and practically ran the opposite way when he'd caught sight of Izzie coming out of a patient's room. That had broken her heart, and she'd had to slip into the linen closet (ironically, the same one that she'd kissed Addison in) to gulp back the hot tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.

Addison – that was another knot in the tangled ball of twine that was Izzie's life right now. So far, Izzie had been doing some avoiding of her own. She'd seen the red-haired attending a few times in the hallway, but as soon as she had caught Addison's blue gaze, she had quickly averted her eyes and walked the other way. She didn't want to deal with her feelings right now – she just wanted to get through her mess, one day at a time.

The coast seemed clear, so Izzie started across the hall to check on a young girl recovering from a tonsillectomy. Just as she put a hand on the doorknob, Addison came bustling around the corner, her red hair bouncing jauntily in a perky ponytail, and her short skirt swirling around her long legs. She was reading a chart and didn't see Izzie until it was too late. Addison's stiletto dug painfully into Izzie's sneakered foot.

"Ow!" Izzie yelped, hopping on one foot. She rubbed the sore spot on her toe and looked up at Addison indignantly. "Jeez, you couldn't watch where you were going? Oh – " She stopped, seeing who it was. "I'm sorry, Dr. Montgomery. I didn't mean to be rude."

Addison looked down at Izzie, half-amused, half-surprised, and somewhere deep inside her heart, secretly ecstatic on seeing the pretty blonde again. "Yes you did, Stevens, but you're forgiven. I'm sorry for stepping on your foot. Are you all right?"

Izzie nodded, feeling a little foolish. "Fine. I've got to – I mean, Lauren's waiting, and she's been vomiting a lot of blood, and – I've just got to go," she finished, blushing a faint coral pink and ducking into the tonsillectomy patient's room. Addison smiled broadly, shook her head, and continued on her way down the hall.

Alex Karev lounged against the wall beside the elevators, looking tired and sipping a cup of what looked like sludge. Addison peered into the white vessel and wrinkled her nose. "Honestly, Karev, why do you drink the hospital crap? There's a perfectly good coffee bar down the street."

"Well, unlike rich red-haired attendings with trust funds, I don't have a lot of money, Addison," Alex drawled, narrowing his eyes at her. "But, I wouldn't mind if said rich red-haired attending wanted to buy me a coffee. After all, she does owe me for the other night."

"Owe you for what? You ran out on me sometime after I fell asleep. It really made me feel like you cared," said Addison, a little hurt creeping into her voice. "Nothing like abandonment to make a girl feel amazing."

Alex's predatory look left his face and he leaned forward, a smile curving across his lips. "How about another chance? I don't think I gave you a fair chance last time," he said, his voice growing soft. "You really are an amazing woman."

Addison felt her heart quicken a little as her eyes traced over Alex's toned body and her familiar feline smile crossed her lips. But she was still hurt, and despite the fact that she really wanted him to, she shook her head. "Sorry, Karev," she said, affecting a breezy tone. "But I like to play hard to get." The elevator dinged and the doors swished open. "Have fun at Joe's tonight."

Alex frowned. "Oh, I will. Whore," he muttered under his breath. The elevator doors shut and Alex turned, heading down the hall towards the second set of elevators. He was due in Sloane's rhinoplasty surgery in two minutes.

Dr. Mark Sloane was scrubbing in when Alex burst into the OR antechamber, breathing hard. "Karev . . . nice to see you," he boomed. "Normally when I schedule a surgery, I like my interns to be on time. What's your excuse this time?"

"Addison Forbes Montgomery," muttered Alex, slamming on the water and snapping some soap into his hands. "She's such a bitch. All I had to do was say the word "sex" and she starts drooling. And then, when I offer to pay her a little visit this evening after Joe's? She gives me that stupid smile and tells me that she likes to play hard to get. I tell you what, man, I have no idea how you put up with her for months on end."

Sloane grinned and put a surgical apron on. "That's Addie. She does like to play hard to get, but she's a hell of a firecracker in bed. Nah, Addison is one hell of a woman. And when you do get her into bed? She'll rock your world, Karev. You're dealing with a grade A lady there."

Alex snorted, tying a skullcap onto his head. "What do you mean, when? I've already bedded her, Sloane. She's easy as hell to get into bed. Grade A lady? More like first-class whore. The woman is gasping for it. You'd swear she'd never been serviced before." He grabbed a mask. "Let's go."

The two doctors filed into the OR, laughing. Addison, who had come up to the door of the antechamber a few minutes previously and had overheard everything, slumped against the doorjamb, her eyes filling with tears. Was that how everyone saw her? As a cheap whore who was easy to entice into bed? She closed her eyes, the tears falling on her porcelain skin, and drew a shuddering sigh. She had to pull herself together – she was assisting on Sloane's surgery today since the woman getting the nose job was pregnant. Clad in her salmon scrubs, she scrubbed in and marched into the OR, head held high.

Somehow, Addison managed to get through the surgery, ignoring the daggered looks that Alex was sending her from Sloane's side. She monitored the fetal monitor, helped clean up and then pulled off her mask, stalking out of the room past a surprised Sloane, who had no idea that she'd overheard the prior conversation. She had nothing on the roster for an hour – she could indulge in a good, feel-sorry-for-herself cry.

Throwing open the door of the linen closet, she charged in, a sob already breaking from her throat as she pulled the door shut behind her and fell to her knees, hands coming up to cover her face. She was so concerned with trying to find privacy to cry that she didn't see Izzie, sitting against one of the shelves, reading a magazine. Izzie rose to her feet and emitted a surprised noise.

"Dr. Montgomery! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in surgery!" Izzie tried to step over Addison to get to the door, but stopped when she heard the older woman's low, heartbroken sobs. She paused, then turned back and hunkered down beside Addison. "Dr. – Addison?

Addison looked up, her makeup running in darkened streaks down her tear-stained face. Surprisingly, this didn't make her look any less beautiful – her baby-blue eyes became even bluer with the infusion of tears. "Izzie . . . I didn't know you were here." She sniffled, wiping her eyes roughly on the back of her hand.

Izzie sat down beside Addison, the warmth of her body radiating onto the attending, and put a tentative hand on Addison's salmon-clad knee. "Are you okay? What happened?" Her gentle voice caused another influx of tears from Addison, who suddenly turned in towards the intern. Like she'd done it a thousand times before, Izzie took the red-haired woman into her arms and began to make comforting sounds.

"Addison . . . shh. Oh, it's not worth this much emotion," she soothed, stroking back Addison's soft, silky hair. She breathed in Addie's sweet floral scent and felt something awake inside, but she pushed it determinedly down and continued to rock Addison back and forth. Unbidden, Izzie said, "Someone as beautiful as you should never be this sad."

Addison looked up. "Izzie, do you think I'm a whore?" she choked, her voice foggy. "I've always tried to be – well, classy. The way I was raised. But now that I think about it, Alex was right. I'm just a cheating cunt who threw away a perfectly good marriage for a stupid fling. He doesn't even love me." She sniffled and began to sob again.

Izzie pulled Addison closer, rubbing her back. "I don't think you're a whore. If anything, it's me who's the whore. I had sex with my best friend . . . his wife already hates me. In fact, that's why I'm here. I'm hiding from Callie O'Malley," she said ruefully. "Can't take her gimlet gaze anymore," she quipped, smiling broadly.

Addison leaned closer against Izzie's soft body and sighed. "We're both pathetic." She turned her pretty face up to meet Izzie's, her blue eyes searching Izzie's brown eyes. She seemed to find what she was looking for, because she closed them, leaning up and covering Izzie's mouth with her own.

Izzie expected herself to draw away. After all, she'd spent all this time avoiding Addison – why was she giving in now? But something else took over – she realized that for the first time all day, she wasn't hurting inside. This time, she didn't want to miss out on the beautiful attending's charms. This time, Izzie didn't even hesitate – she automatically opened her mouth, thrusting her tongue into Addison's.

Addison began to kiss Izzie desperately, her fingers digging into Izzie's back, her legs folding underneath her skirt so that she could kneel. She tangled her hands in Izzie's soft curls, rumpling them up, running the strands over her fingers. Her tongue twined around Izzie's, tasting every part of the intern's mouth she could find.

Izzie responded, her own hands finding Addison's hair, her mouth alternately covering and breaking away from Addison's. When they broke away, they were both breathing hard. Izzie didn't take her eyes from Addison's as she slid a hand up the attending's scrub shirt and her fingers found Addison's bra.

Addison leaned closer to Izzie, her hand going behind her back to cover the intern's hand on the bra's clasp. "Izzie, I want this, but do you?"

Something snapped in Izzie's eyes and she took her hand away from Addison's. "Yes . . . but not here. Not in this setting." Her arms encircled Addison, drawing the attending close to her chest. "Come with me tonight," she breathed.

"I don't have sex on the first date," Addie breathed back, snuggling into Izzie. "But how about we have dinner? We'll take it from there." Her eyes rose to meet Izzie's tender gaze. "You're so beautiful, oh, God . . . I want you so much."

Izzie gently detangled herself from Addison, smoothing down her scrubs. "Okay, dinner. Pick me up at seven?" she smiled, tying her hair back up.

Addison smiled back, her lips coming forward into her customary pout. "Seven, at the intern's locker room."

Izzie grinned widely at her, then let herself out. Suddenly, the thought of George didn't hurt her at all. As Callie passed by, throwing Izzie a scowl, the intern gave her a demure smile. She wasn't afraid of Callie, either!


	3. Don't Throw Your Dreams Away

Izzie grinned at herself in the mirror as she tied up her soft blonde curls and applied an extra swipe of raspberry lip gloss. She straightened her white print blouse, smoothed down her jeans and winked at herself as she turned away, dark eyes trained on the door.

From across the room, George gave her a quizzical look and started to open his mouth, then remembered that he wasn't talking to Izzie and quickly shut it, turning away from the blonde intern. Izzie simply raised her chin and looked past George coldly. Being as he was the last one left in the interns' room, he simply threw her another odd glance and met Callie, who was coming in the door. Taking her arm, he swept out and silence fell over the locker room.

Izzie had picked seven o'clock because she knew that no one would be left, and she didn't want to be known as the latest in a long line of interns dating their bosses. She felt a frisson of excitement, thinking about pretty Addison with her long red hair, coming in, sharing a soft kiss, going out to a quiet restaurant and listening to soft jazz while giggling over nothing . . . she deserved this. Izzie deserved this.

Addison came along the hallway, tousling her hair to give it more volume and simultaneously checking her cell phone at the same time. She paused just before the door of the locker room, straightening her coat. Then she peeked in and found Izzie checking her hair one last time in the mirror. Addison smiled and walked in.

"Dr. Stevens . . . I must say, you do look quite ravishing in clothing other than scrubs," drawled Addison, coming up behind Izzie and running her cool hands over the soft skin of Izzie's neck. "Quite ravishing indeed . . . "

Izzie shivered, then turned, capturing Addison's mouth in a quick, hungry kiss. "You look beautiful, Addie," she breathed. She gently touched a tendril of Addison's hair that fell by her gently-blushing cheek. Their eyes met and Izzie dropped her makeup case and kissed Addison, this time going in for the kill.

She ran her hands through Addie's hair, smoothing back the silkiness, tangling her hair in the fire-red strands, thrusting her tongue into the attending's mouth, smearing lip gloss onto Addison's already red lips. Addison's hands were all over Izzie's body, clutching her back, her bottom, her stomach and her breasts, exploring every inch of soft skin she could get her hands on. The kiss was hot, lighting the air on fire. When the women broke apart, Izzie was sore, achingly unsatisfied. And she wanted more.

Addison sighed, running a hand through her hair again to fix the tangles Izzie had put there. "Izzie . . . let's eat first, okay, sweetie? You interns have so much energy these days. After forty-eight hour shifts with one two-hour nap, I'm amazed you have enough fire left for sex!" She turned her back on the blonde and picked up her purse, swinging back to give Izzie a piercing blue gaze. "I want to know you before I know your body."

Izzie grinned. "We'll see about that, Dr. Montgomery." She took Addie's hand and the two walked out of the interns' locker room, closing the door behind them.

At the door to the hospital, Izzie gallantly opened the door for Addison. Normally, Izzie was the one who liked to be treated like a lady, but Addison was so high-class that Izzie couldn't help but want to treat her with the elegance she exuded. Addison gave Izzie a sweet smile and in turn, opened the door for Izzie, turning back to look the younger girl in the eye. The whole date smacked of ceremony, but it didn't matter – not when for the first time in ages, both women felt so light, carefree . . . almost as if they had nothing to worry about.

Addison flipped her hair over her shoulders, putting a gentle hand on Izzie's back as she walked past her to the parking lot. Izzie turned to steal a slight kiss from Addison, who giggled like a schoolgirl. She turned to close the door and froze as she met Derek Shepherd's startled blue eyes staring back at her from the other side.

Addison startled badly and her hand tightened on Izzie's back, which made her turn around to see what the matter was. There on the other side of the door was Meredith Grey, huddled in a grey woolen coat, staring with just as much surprise back at Izzie.

Addison wordlessly opened the door and all four stepped into the cool spring air. Derek cleared his throat. "A little . . . one-on-one teaching, Addison?" His brow furrowed. "A bit skanky, even for you."

"Yeah, because I'm the one dating the world's last twelve-year-old," Addison quipped, not even knowing what she was saying, not even caring if any of it mattered. Meredith kept looking from Izzie to Addie, her mouth open slightly, wordless. Derek leaned over and gently closed Meredith's mouth. "You're gaping, dear."

"You. And her? You and Satan? You and Dr. Montgomery? You and Addison? You and – " Meredith's mouth flapped open and shut like a fish. "Izzie, honestly, how could you? All that history . . ."

Addison's cheeks flushed a quiet pink. "Am I really that awful to you, Meredith?" she said faintly. Izzie's hand crept into hers and squeezed – not hard, but just enough to know that she was on Addison's side and her voice blew out angrily, bouncing off the walls of the hospital's entrance. "This is none of your business, Meredith. We'll talk about it at home."

Meredith's head flew up, eyes flashing. "If you even bother to come home. You know, if you like her so much, why don't you just stay with her? Really, as if I don't have enough problems . . . my mother just DIED, Izzie. I nearly died. Addison Montgomery was Derek's WIFE and there's history, and goddamn it, you HATED her salmon scrubs . . ."

Addie suddenly had a mad desire to laugh. "How about you both do me a favour? You pretend you didn't see us, and I'll pretend that I didn't see you fucking after hours in Richard's office the day he had the flu. Deal?"

Derek's eyes widened. "You saw that? Oh, God . . . Addie, don't you say a thing! Meredith, I told you that was a bad idea . . . even if it WAS to spice up the relationship."

Meredith suddenly giggled, a wild silvery chime. "Derek, please . . ."

Izzie suddenly threw up her hands. "This is the first good night I've had a chance of having since Denny died. Can you all just not let me HAVE it?" Her eyes blazed and her back was ramrod straight. "You're doing an attending. I'm going out with my attending. Can't we just pretend, for once, that we're all normal people and that none of us are doctors? Please? I'm hungry . . ." She turned to Addison and whined, "Addie, I'm HUNGRY."

Addison took control of the situation. "Dr. Stevens has had a long day helping me with triplets. We are going to go and eat now. We will discuss this later. What's said in Vegas, stays in Vegas, or I'm going to have a very interesting story to tell the Chief that will completely OVERRIDE the story that you'll have to tell him. Got it?" She winked a bright blue eye at the stunned couple. "Have a good evening, doctors."

She took Izzie's arm and the two fairly sped-walked away from the hospital entrance. As soon as they came upon Addison's shining silver Mercedes, they both collapsed against the smooth, cool doors and nearly wet themselves laughing. When Addison was finished, she straightened up. "Okay, where were we?"

Izzie grinned and got into the car. "Going for some food. Right now."

"Don't get in the way of a hungry intern, hey, Miss Isobel?" Addison grinned. "Okay, next stop, Joe's."

Joe's was relatively slow for the time of night, but then, it was only seven-thirty. Addison held open the door for Izzie, whose clear skin and bright eyes seem to almost glow under the cheap red lights. Izzie was always a beautiful girl, but beyond the fluorescent lights from the hospital, she seemed to surpass beautiful. Already every male in the place was staring at her, and Addison suddenly felt proud that for tonight at least, Isobel Stevens was all hers.

They were seated and well-thumbed menus open, the two peeked at each other over the soft edges of the laminated cardboard. Now that they were expected to talk, Addison was damned if she knew what to talk to the intern about. One thing that actually sort of bothered her about Izzie was that chipper, expectant look of hers. Couldn't she break the ice? Addison checked her impatient, desperate-divorcee thoughts and put on a softer look for her fresh-faced intern.

"Izzie, I really feel that you're showing an excellent aptitude for my service. You know, you're going to have to pick your specialty soon, and I'd love to be your teacher in neonatal surgery. I am really very impressed with you," said Addison, smiling at the sparkling girl across from her.

Izzie grinned. "You're just saying that because you want to get into my pants," she quipped, winking at Addison. "I'm no better at obstetrics than I am at anything else."

Addison shook her head, but Izzie's hand snaking across the table towards hers stopped her and she simply looked down at where the pale fingers met her wrist. She realized with a shock that her well-formed surgeon's hands, the hands she'd always been proud of, could always turn to anything, were starting to look old next to Izzie's sensitive fingers with her nondescript nails and flush of youth.

The food arrived and Izzie began to wolf down the chicken strips, fries and gravy as fast as she could. Addison was rather surprised and a little disgusted. She sipped her glass of wine sedately and gently twirled a forkful of pasta into her spoon, popping it delicately into her mouth. A slight expression of disgust crossed her face and Izzie blushed a little, trying to slow down. She was so used to simply feeding her face whenever she got a break that she'd forgotten what it was like to simply eat properly. She tried to show that she had some manners, discreetly wiping her mouth with her napkin. Addison grinned inwardly and lowered her regal head just slightly.

They finished their meal after some mundane remarks about the surgery and Addie signaled to their waiter for the cheque. Izzie began to pull out her wallet, but Addison stopped her, grinning a little cynically. "Trust fund, remember?" The words from Alex still burned a little bit on her heart, but she pushed the feeling down and helped Izzie with her coat.

In the car, Izzie kept stealing glances at Addison's profile in the streetlights. Addie said nothing, but her eyes kept drifting back to Izzie. It was strange . . . she had an odd sense of unreality, of disgust and lust, of wanting and loathing, of love and was it even hate? Had the experience with Derek soured her? About to take Izzie home, she suddenly wheeled the car around and turned down a side street, her car purring under her increasingly leaden foot.

Izzie gave her a slightly nervous look. "Not to be a pain, but you're kind of exceeding the speed limit there, Addison . . ." She glanced behind her, looking for cops.

Addison wheeled and caught her in her direct blue gaze. "Here's the deal. I said that I don't have sex on the first date. I lied."

She pulled to an abrupt stop outside a Victorian brownstone, deep in the historical heart of Seattle. Izzie drew in a breath and suddenly grinned. "Perfect."

The two simultaneously got out of the car and came together at the front steps, lips locking, hands groping, and hair flying. Addison could barely wrestle her keys from her purse before Izzie grabbed her hand and pulled the attending towards her, her mouth moving over Addison's neck.

"Hold on!" cried Addie, working the keys into the front door and finally swinging the door open even as her hands grasped Izzie's jacket and began to shuck it off. The door had barely shut behind them before Addison's panties became wet with desire and she pushed Izzie towards the stairs, her tongue thrusting into the intern's mouth.

Izzie stumbled and fell, back first into the stairs, and beyond the sharp carpet burn she felt Addison's hands on her stomach and inside her panties. They weren't going to make it to the bedroom.

She began to rip off her pants with one hand and pull up Addison's shirt with another. Addison helped her by practically ripping the silken shirt from her body and simultaneously reaching behind herself to flick the catch on her bra. She couldn't quite manage, so Izzie unhooked it and tore off the garment to reveal Addison's deep, full, soft breasts with ruby-tipped nipples and the slight tracing of the blue veins under the ivory skin.

She bent her head forward, burying her face into Addison's sweet body, inhaling her floral scent and something else that was purely Addie, purely female, purely sex. Izzie ran her tongue over the attending's skin, tasting the slight sweetness of her sweat, the astringent taste of her perfume, and closing her own white teeth over Addison's erect nipples. The older woman gasped and cried out, her own hands pushing Izzie's panties down to cup her still-firm bottom, still firm even after Izzie hadn't worked out for months and pigged out on baked goods.

Addison slid her hands around the soft marble of Izzie's hipbones, her fingers tracing along the intern's soft skin, raising goosebumps as she went. She plunged her hands down into the wet heat that was Izzie, the silken wetness that was slick with desire, and her fingers found Izzie and began to work against the slowly-hardening clitoris. Izzie gasped and bucked against Addison, murmuring her name, murmuring and almost unintelligible in her demands, more now, yes, again and again . . . and the stars exploded behind Izzie's eyes as she panted against Addison's stomach, heard the attending's breath come harshly, felt her heart beat against her cheek and felt herself spreading wetness through her clothes and over Addison's fingers.

Addison took Izzie's hands, which hung limply on her back, and placed them on her stomach. She pushed the intern's fingers down, she wanted her to feel her . . . Izzie nearly didn't know what to do until the heat overtook her and she thrust her fingers deep into the attending, past all her barriers and sliding in her liquid desire. Her fingers scrabbled and caught, she began to move rhythmically against Addison's thrusts and the older woman's breaths became ragged as Izzie pushed against her one too many times and she came spectacularly, flooding the area with her satisfaction. Izzie pulled her hands out, Addison rolled off the intern and the two lay, half-naked and collapsing, on Addison's sharp beige-carpeted stairs, breathing roughly.

After what seemed like an eternity, Addison rolled over to see Izzie staring at her. "Addie . . ."

"Yes, Izzie?"

"Do it again. This time, in bed. My back hurts." She groaned and raised herself from the stairs, her back a little raw from the scraping against the carpeted treads.

Addison grinned and followed her upstairs. They collapsed into bed, Addison's silken sheets soft against their sweaty necks and backs. Addie rolled over to look Izzie in the eye, to really get a sense of her body, which was softly feathered with tiny blonde hairs that rose when Addie ran her fingers down her belly button, and closer to her hips, past her belly button – and Addison pulled her fingers away like they were on fire.

Izzie's eyes flew open and she regarded Addie with a confused look. "What's wrong?"

Addison simply looked down at Izzie's exposed belly, where a pink cesarean scar traced its way from below the intern's navel down into the regions of her dark-blonde pubic hair. "I . . . didn't know."

Izzie leaned back in bed, her eyes squeezing shut, the tears burning against her eyelids. "It's not something I tell too many people."

"A . . . baby?" asked Addison, her fingers coming back to gently trace the line, still slightly raised in a railroad pattern from the stitches.

"Eleven years ago, I had a little girl. It was a rough pregnancy, God, I was constantly ill. The baby was in distress because she was too big and I was too small at the time to have her naturally. The labour went on for 26 hours before they decided to cut her out. She was taken away . . . I never even held her." A tear traced its way down Izzie's cheek. "I was in pain for so long afterwards, it took longer than 6 weeks to heal and I still needed to work at the diner to save money for my mother's psychic habit. They threatened to repossess our car, but I managed somehow. Sometimes it still hurts, you know, I can't really feel that area but I swear it still stings."

She opened shining brown eyes and regarded Addison. "You had an abortion, Meredith told me. But what you don't know is what it's like to know that your baby is out there in the world. And every baby I help you deliver? Could have been my baby . . . I help save the babies because I couldn't save mine. I couldn't take care of her. Someone else had to do it. And it's shameful to me, but I don't regret it for a minute. Sometimes, though, I long to see her, especially when I saw her from across the OR and she had eyes that were exactly like mine."

Izzie turned, closer to Addison, her face buried in the space between the two pillows. Addison's eyes were filled with tears. "Oh, Izzie . . ." She leaned down and kissed the surgical scar. "I got my wish."

"What wish?"

"You've opened up to me . . . it's not just a one night stand for you."

Izzie raised her eyes to Addison's and pulled the attending in for a kiss. "How could it ever be once with you, Addison Montgomery?"


	4. A Raindrop Falls

Addison flew into the kitchen, grabbing a cup of coffee, and skirt, briefcase, heels and hair flying, ran for the door. She had been due at the hospital an hour ago, but had overslept her alarm. Swearing, she fought with the lock on her car door and sweeping in, gunned the motor and fairly sped to the hospital, keeping an eye out for cops as she dodged in and out of traffic and ran yellow lights.

She was disgruntled and shaken off her routine – this was the fourth night that she'd spent lying on top of Izzie's hot body, engaging in mind-blowing sex, and it was putting her off her game. If she wanted to be Chief, there was no way that she could afford to not be concentrating on her strategy. And to top it off, she was PMSing up a storm. Why did she let herself get into this mess? Was she really that desperate for sex? As Addie turned into the hospital's drive, she grinned ruefully at herself in the rearview mirror. The answer, of course, was always yes.

Izzie ran a hand through her hair and stared at her tired reflection in the mirror. Her scrubs were wrinkled, she had dark circles under her eyes and she was pale. Addison definitely kept her up at night . . . every time she started to fall asleep, Addie would snake a hand over Izzie's stomach and gently trace her nipples, and she'd be forced to turn over and capture Addie's mouth with her own, pushing her hands down under the sheets . . . Izzie shook herself as Meredith came to stand beside her, gazing apathetically in the mirror.

"So, what's the deal, Iz? You haven't slept at home once this week. Are you with Addison or not?"

Izzie turned and looked at Meredith, who looked, if possible, even more tired than she did. "Thought you'd appreciate more time with McDreamy," she quipped. "And to answer your question, even though it's none of your business, I don't know."

"Seriously? Well . . . okay, then." Meredith turned away. "Of everyone to sleep with in the hospital, Izzie, I never pictured you with Addison Montgomery."

Izzie sighed. "Well, consider the alternative."

Meredith just stared back at her quizzically as George came stumbling into the room. He and Izzie had talked several times since the "incident", but Izzie felt no closer to him than she had after it had happened. George would meet her eyes now, but he wouldn't smile, and he wouldn't come up and gossip with her, or even joke around. He treated her with an aloof professionalism that still hurt. She still hurt, even with Addison.

Addie came flying into the interns' locker room. "I need an intern on a case. Bailey, who can you give me?"

Bailey cast an appraising eye over all the interns and rested on Izzie. "Take Stevens. I don't need her in the clinic today."

Izzie nodded and walked over to Addison, who gave her a surreptitious wink. "Stevens, we have a breech baby and a mother in labour; I'm going to need you to prep her for surgery." She started walking briskly down the hall and Izzie trailed after her, stifling a yawn.

"You kept me up all night last night," she accused in a whisper. "I'm exhausted today. You better let me have at least a little nap when things get slow."

Addison turned and cast her blue gaze over Izzie. "We'll see. Depends on what happens with this mother. And if you get a nap, I get a nap." She winked again and tossed her red hair, which made Izzie want to grab her.

"Well," drawled Izzie, "maybe we can take a nap together. How does that sound?" She drew up alongside Addison and slipped her hand into the attending's, grinning cheekily at her. Addie grinned back, but withdrew her hand. "Not where someone can see, Stevens."

They dealt with the patient, a very nervous Russian girl who didn't speak a lot of English and kept trying to squeeze Izzie's hand. Once Addison had calmed the girl down, she met Izzie outside the room and started to talk to her about the patient, but Izzie had had enough of Addison's talking and decided to pull her into the linen closet. She took Addison's soft hand, shut the door behind them and started to kiss her, long and deep.

Addison was more than a little surprised – and also sort of annoyed. She let Izzie kiss her for a moment, and then pulled away. "Izzie, we're at work."

"That never stopped us before," said Izzie, looking a little hurt. "Are you saying that when we're at work, we can't be affectionate?"

Addison ran a hand through her hair and pushed her lips forward a little. "Izzie, we might have a thing going on, but I'm still your boss. I still need you to keep a professional attitude when I'm trying to talk to you about a patient who could potentially have a rough birth. If you want to learn, you have to see me as your teacher first and your lover second." She regarded Izzie with grave blue eyes. "You need to realize that. We can't do this if you can't be professional."

Izzie stared back at Addison, her eyes filling with hurt. She turned and opened the door. "Okay . . . Dr. Montgomery. I'm going to go and check on the patient, then." She cast a look over her shoulder, a look that Addison interpreted as lost-puppy-dog, and despite her better judgment, Addie pulled Izzie back.

"Now, you're not going to go away mad," she breathed. "Come here." She slid her arms sensuously around Izzie's neck, drawing the girl close to her. When Izzie relaxed and allowed herself to be held, Addison kissed the top of Izzie's head and the side of her neck. "Let's do sleeping at your house tonight."

Izzie smiled. "Let's do sleeping right now . . ." She sagged further into Addison's arms, but Addie shook her head. "Not when I've got rounds, sweetie. I'll tell you what – I'll meet you in the on-call room in two hours. Go and do some charting."

They let themselves out of the closet and Izzie floated down the hallway to the nurses' station, where she picked up some of Addison's charts. Turning away, she ran into George, who dropped everything he was holding, extremely startled. Izzie laughed and bent down to help him pick things up, but he jumped away from her like she was on fire and gave her a horrified look. Straightening up, Izzie's face suddenly set and she said stonily, "Have you been talking to Meredith?"

"Izzie . . . my God, I can't believe you . . . do you just sleep with anyone, now? I don't understand . . . you like GIRLS?"

Izzie shook her head suddenly, reaching out to George. "George . . . Addie and I . . ."

"Addie? You call her Addie? I mean, I don't know what to think, I never knew this about you. Izzie, you're Catholic! You never told me that you were gay! And to sleep with me and then go straight into Dr. Montgomery's arms . . . doesn't that strike you as extremely slutty? I just don't even want to look at you . . . you said you cared about me, but you obviously just jump from one bed to the next. Honestly, I . . . you're just . . . I can't look at you right now, I feel nauseous." George stood up, clutching his charts to his chest. "I have to work things out with Callie. Please, don't talk to me . . . not for awhile, at least."

Izzie's eyes filled with tears and she gasped a little. "George, don't do this . . . please, don't abandon me. I can't . . . I don't know how to be in a situation where you hate me. Don't hate me."

George simply shook his head. "I don't hate you. I don't feel anything for you. I just want to be left alone. Izzie, we're not fine. We're never going to be fine. Things have changed. Get used to it – you've already started to move on. I suppose I should be glad for that."

He turned away and Izzie felt weak and dizzy – she barely made it to a chair before her stomach surged and she stumbled into the nurse's bathroom. Retching over the toilet, all she felt was emptiness and self-loathing. This was almost worse than Denny . . . but at least with Denny, she knew that he loved her. Someone had loved her. Someone had held her.

She wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet, staring at herself in the mirror above the sink. She looked horrible. Maybe she should go and lie down. Suddenly, all she wanted was Addison.

Coming out of the bathroom, she ran into Addison waiting on the other side. "Stevens, what is wrong with you? I come to get Lena's chart and it's lying on the table, half-filled in. Honestly, if you're too distracted to work on this case, I can have Bailey reassign you –" She trailed off when she saw Izzie's face. "Good God, Izzie, what happened? You look like someone's run a knife through you."

"Addison . . . " Izzie cleared her throat, and two tears made their way down her cheeks. "Can we go to the on-call room now? I don't feel well. I need to lie down." She grabbed the doorjamb and closed her eyes.

Addison wordlessly put her arm around Izzie's shoulder and they walked to the on-call room around the corner. Luckily, no one was in there. Addison shut and locked the door, then turned to face Izzie.

"What happened, sweetie?" She shucked off her coat and began to undress to her bra and panties. "Someone's upset you . . . you look like you've seen a ghost." She grimaced and tossed Izzie a pack of gum from the pocket of her white clinical coat. "I heard you throwing up, too."

Izzie chewed a piece of gum miserably and suddenly started to cry, gasping sobs that threatened to tear her apart. Addison clucked under her tongue and pulled back the covers on the bed, drawing Izzie gently down beside her. Izzie's shoulders shook as she settled beside Addison. She turned her face into the pillow and cried. Addie rubbed her back soothingly. "Shh, shh . . ."

When Izzie could talk, she rolled over to face Addison, her cheeks tearstained and her eyes liquid pools of misery. "Addison, what is this? Do you care about me at all? Or are you just with me for the sex?"

Addie's eyes widened. "Izzie . . ."

"Because if you're just in it for the sex, then you should leave, now. I don't need anyone to placate me. I don't need to scratch an itch or whatever you call it. I'm not some sort of slutty girl who does that stuff. So I need to know – do you care about me, or just about the sex?"

Addison stared directly into Izzie's eyes. "If I wanted a one night stand, Stevens, I would have kicked you out after the first night. I thought we made that clear. For the third time, what happened? You weren't upset this morning. I thought we agreed no labels yet."

"George . . . George hates me," Izzie moaned, her voice breaking. "He called me a slut . . . he won't even look at me, Addie. I don't know what to do. I feel like shit. I don't know how to be in a world where George isn't there for me. I need someone there for me."

Addison rubbed Izzie's back and sighed. "You want a definition, Izzie. You want me to call you my girlfriend? Or you want someone to catch you when you fall?"

Izzie burrowed her face into the pillow. "I want you to hold me," she said, muffled. She raised her head. "I need you to hold me so that I can't fall."

Addison drew Izzie into her arms, nuzzling into her soft curls, holding her close and rubbing her back, her neck, whispering below her ear. They both closed their eyes and Addison smiled.

"That, I can do."


	5. Shines So Bright

Stuck in the frustration of a recurring dream where she was climbing stairs but could never see what was at the top, Addison, with a doctor's sensitivity to bells and beeps, jerked awake as her pager exploded in sound beside her on the dresser. Muzzily, she groaned and rolled over to peer at it out of slitted blue eyes. Lena. Dammit. She grabbed her pager and shut it off, sighing.

Addie raised herself on one elbow and looked fondly over at the sleeping intern beside her. Izzie was such a good sleeper – when she was out, she was out. Not even the loudest crack of thunder could wake her, and Addison had heard Bailey griping about the fact that of all her interns, Izzie was the hardest to wake from naps and the last to respond to pages when she was asleep. Addison, over the past week, had learned that Izzie kept her pager on the loudest setting so that she would wake up eventually. She had also learned that Izzie slept curled on her side, arms thrown over Addison, clinging desperately to her and intertwining her legs between the attending's. She also sighed a little or whimpered in her sleep, and just the other day, she'd even hiccupped for about ten minutes, her stomach contracting against Addison's back. Addison found all of this extremely sweet; but of course, it meant that as a light sleeper, she never got much sleep.

This afternoon, Izzie was buried under the covers, her golden curls cascading over the pillow. Her mouth was open just a little bit, her lips ruby and her cheeks flushed. Her eyelashes fluttered gently as she passed through her REM cycle, and Addison couldn't resist leaning down and trailing a hand over Izzie's stomach, kissing her cheek and then her nose. Izzie murmured something that sounded like "pancreatitis," and rolled over, her hand sliding across the bed, looking for Addison's warmth.

Addie looked at her pager doubtfully – it hadn't been a 911, but it wasn't her style not to answer her pages right away – and then thought, what the hell, and laid back down beside Izzie, drawing the sleepy soft intern into her arms. Unfortunately, just as she closed her eyes, Addison's pager went off again, and with a muttered curse, Addie knew the game was up.

Leaving Izzie asleep in bed (and whimpering a little at the loss of warmth), Addison got up and dressed quickly, donning her white lab coat as she passed the mirror above the dresser. She let herself out of the on-call room and ran smack into Derek, who was passing the door. Both let out a squeal of surprise, and then looked down, running a hand simultaneously through their respective heads of hair.

Addison giggled a little nervously. "Derek," she said courteously.

"Addison," he replied pleasantly. "Another lesson in the on-call room? Honestly, is she the first woman you've ever been with? Because if you were interested in a little girl-on-girl, you certainly never told me. A little selfish, don't you think?"

Addison sighed. "Derek, please. Can't we get past this? I haven't twitted you about Meredith since you divorced me eight months ago. Why can't you let me be happy? Izzie . . . well, she makes me happy." She looked down, then looked up, her desperate gaze catching Derek's skeptical one. "She's the best thing that's happened to me since coming to Seattle. I thought . . . well, I thought since we were going to try to be friends, that you would . . . support me or something."

Derek looked as if he were about to come back with a snappy rejoinder, but he simply closed his mouth and looked sad. "You're right, Addie. I've been really rude about this, and I'm sorry."

Addison's eyes widened – she hadn't expected him to give in that easily. "Der – what's going on?"

Derek sighed, and with a shock, Addison realized that he looked haggard. "The race for Chief's getting to me. I just came from a meeting with Richard – he's so busy trying to protect Meredith from getting hurt that he completely missed the point that I actually love her. He insinuated, not in so many words, that if I continued my relationship, I'd lose the race for Chief." He fell silent, looking at the floor.

Addison was gobsmacked. "He can't say that, Derek. He can't discriminate against you because you're with Ellis Grey's daughter, and he can't withdraw his support vote on the grounds of that relationship, either." She stopped, realizing how this could affect her own chances. "Oh, shit."

"Yeah. You think my situation's bad, Addison? Think about the kind of matches you're playing with – not so much matches as it is a flamethrower. You're dating not only an intern, which is taboo, but a female intern – and as much as the Chief likes to say he's down "with the rainbow", many other publicly-conservative members of that committee are not. He could lose respect with the board if he backed you in this race."

"What do you care? It just means you'd have a better shot at winning."

Derek sighed in frustration. "No, Addison. It means we're both out of the running on the grounds of our relationships, not to mention we've both got black marks against us because we're a divorced couple running against each other. Burke will be blacklisted because he's been distracted by his and Cristina's upcoming marriage, so who does that leave?"

Addison turned pale. "No. Just, no."

Derek nodded grimly. "So, if I were you? I'd keep the on-call lessons to a minimum if you want a hope of ever getting the Chief position. Or, say goodbye to your chances." He hunched his shoulders miserably.

Addison tentatively touched his back. "Der, where does that leave you and Meredith?"

Derek raised his eyes to meet hers. "I don't know." With that, he walked away.

Addison slumped against the wall, her eyes filling with tears. If what Derek said was true, the sleeping angel in the on-call room would be another amazing thing cruelly ripped away from Addison's life. Was she really willing to sacrifice this budding relationship for a potential shot at Chief of Surgery? Addison pushed a hand roughly through her red hair and knocked her head angrily against her knee. Why did she have to choose? Why was she forced out of the race on the grounds of her sexuality? Addison, not for the first time, raged against the patriarchal society she lived in and tried to quell her trembling lips as the first tears soaked into her nylon-clad knees.

After a moment, she bit her lip and stood up, her blue eyes widening with the effort of not crying. She decided to ignore Derek's warnings and setting off in the direction of her patient's room, pulled out her Blackberry to schedule an appointment with Richard Webber.

Somewhere deep in the velvet darkness of sleep, Izzie heard a recurring beeping noise. Waving her hand irritably, she tried to get it to stop, but reluctantly it pulled her back from her dreams and she opened her eyes, feeling cranky. Her pager was beeping and buzzing madly on the dresser and as she picked it up to look at it, three words registered in her sleepy brain: "BAILEY MIRANDA DR. BAILEY MIRANDA DR."

"Shit," Izzie muttered and wondered how long Bailey had been paging her. She noticed with amusement that Addison was no longer there, but that a few strands of her red hair lay across the pillow. Izzie got up and stretched, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, then she booked it out of the on-call room and down the hallway towards the stairs.

When she skidded to a stop outside of the emergency surgery wing on the fourth floor, she realized that once again, she was the last one to arrive. Cursing under her breath, she fell in beside Meredith quickly, praying that Bailey hadn't noticed her late arrival – although she knew it was futile.

Bailey turned from where she was scribbling on a chart. "Stevens, nice of you to join us. Where the hell were you? When I page, that means I need you here, in front of MY face, not off somewhere messing around. Okay, I need you fools on this floor today. I've got three appendectomies and two choleocystectomies, not to mention some IDIOT who decided to swallow three thumbtacks in a stupid bar dare. All of you will get to scrub in, but if you bug me, I'll make you do scut. In fact, Stevens, you were late – you're on scut and if you're quiet, you can scrub in on one of my appies. Now get to work, we haven't got all day, people!"

She waddled off at top speed, leaving her interns to trot behind her like puppies. Meredith rolled her eyes sympathetically at Izzie and caught the chart that Bailey tossed her, disappearing into a patient's room. Cristina snatched the chart from Bailey, her face lighting up as she realized that she got the thumbtack guy, and ran off in the other direction. Alex leered at Izzie and took the third chart, leaving George, averting his eyes, to take the fourth. Suddenly, it was just Izzie and Bailey standing by the nurses' station.

"Stevens, I don't know where your head is these days and I don't care to know. What I want you to do is respond to your pages when I page you! How hard is it to look at a little black beeping machine? You've been DIS-tracted and I do NOT need this on my surgical floor. If you can't handle the pressure, then maybe it's time to consider another field to waste someone else's time in."

Bailey paused for a breath, then looked at Izzie with concern, her voice growing softer. "Izzie. I know there's something going down between you and George, but if you bring it to work, I can't help you. It's been a tough year for you, I know it has. But, leave it behind. I need my sharpest, smartest interns on their game, all the time. You're talented enough to make it. Why are you letting emotions get in the way?"

Izzie stared down at the little resident, at a loss for words. "I'm sorry, Dr. Bailey. I'll do better next time." She looked at her feet. "Do you have any labs for me to run?"

Bailey stared at her, her glittering dark brown gaze probing. Giving up, she shrugged. "Yeah. Nurse Potter has a stack over there." She turned away, but then turned back and put a warm hand on Izzie's arm. "Hang in there, honey." Quick as a flash, she disappeared into a patient's room, clearing her throat professionally.

Izzie thumbed through the charts listlessly, letting her mind drift back to Addison. The red-haired attending had been so tender, wiping the tears from her cheeks, rubbing her back and stroking her hair, letting Izzie nuzzle into her warmth and cling to her during sleep. Izzie never had a problem sleeping, but she doubted Addie had gotten any sleep that afternoon. She smiled to herself. Without Addison, her life would seriously be total shit right now.

As if summoned, Addison appeared around the corner, moving at her normal gliding speed walk down the hallway. She spotted Izzie, but instead of giving her a smile and a greeting, she ducked her head and turned right down the cross-hallway, just before she reached the nurse's station. Izzie felt like her stomach had just dropped out – why did Addison do that? They hadn't had a fight . . .

She dropped the labs with a clatter onto the counter and practically jogged around the corner, just to see Addison disappear into Richard's office. Izzie stopped dead. What in God's name was Addison doing with Richard Webber? Izzie could only pray that it was a meeting of sorts about the attending's chances for Chief. She swallowed, backing down the hallway. Whatever it was, she did not want to watch the two conversing.

Addison opened Richard's door and smiled at the Chief. "Thanks for meeting with me on such short notice, Richard. I appreciate it."

"Anytime, Addie," said Richard, his warm, rich voice filling the room sonorously. "Anything for my best neonatal surgeon!"

Addie smiled nervously. "I'm here to talk about the race for Chief, as you can imagine . . . I just had a conversation with Dr. Shepherd, and I can't say that it didn't concern me."

Richard's bright smile dimmed a little. "Not that it was any of your business, Addison, but I can't imagine how my conversation with Derek should affect you in any way. As far as I know, you're not dating . . ." He trailed off, his face darkening, as he met Addison's wide blue eyes. "Addison . . ." he growled.

"Richard, think about this for a moment. Where do we doctors, especially attendings, spend most of our days? Who are we supposed to "fraternize" with?"

"I don't care what your . . . sex life . . . is like, Addie, I don't want to hear it!" Richard half-stood and leaned over his desk.

"Addison, I don't have much need to drive points home to you. You're a smart woman and you keep your nose clean, so I don't have to yell at you as a rule. This time – this time, Addie, I AM YELLING! You KNOW how I feel about dating interns! And if it's Alex or George, I'm going to be even more annoyed. I have never been so wrapped up in intern drama since I WAS an intern! I don't want to hear it anymore. And if the rule stands for Shepherd, it stands for you, too – I cannot back a candidate who is engaging in a forbidden relationship. Especially if that relationship can technically harm a marriage . . ." He glowered at her.

"Well, as it happens, Richard, it won't be harming any marriages. The intern is Izzie Stevens. And I'm here to tell you that if you won't back me because it could get you in trouble with the board, I am hereby withdrawing my name from the race for Chief." Addison straightened her back and stared Richard straight in the eye. "My life's already shit enough, Richard, without losing the one good thing that's happened to me since my divorce."

Richard opened and closed his mouth. When he spoke, his voice was subdued and sad. "You'd withdraw your name? For an intern?" He seemed to completely miss the fact that the intern in question was a girl.

Addison felt her eyes filling and furiously blinked the tears away. "Richard, putting aside the rules for a moment – putting aside all of it, making it simple – I can't, in good conscience, leave that beautiful little girl drowning out there in her own misery. Not only that, I can't fathom sitting in that chair and having it all – having it all except for Izzie."

Richard raised his eyes to Addison's. "What are you saying, Addie?"

"I love her, Richard. I love her and I'm not letting her go." Addison swallowed, her voice growing husky. "I'm going to withdraw my name. I care about her too much to give it all up for the sake of power."

"Addison. You realize that you're giving up your career? That being Chief could skyrocket you to unheard-of heights? Think of the contacts you'll make! Think of what you could do for Seattle Grace! Addie, you should know – the board is almost unanimous in their decision. You have this in the bag."

Addison suddenly brought her fists down on Richard's desk. "You're not hearing me, Richard! None of that matters! None of that matters if I can't be happy!" Her voice broke and the tears started flowing down her cheeks. "Do you realize, she was the first person to break through my miserable existence? She was the first one to really make me feel loved and needed? She – " Addison trailed off and twisted her hands together in her lap.

After a long moment, she looked up. "She was the first one to look into my eyes and care what she saw looking back at her. She looked at me, not through me. I put my life on hold for a career, Richard, and look where it led me. I'm 38 and I'm divorced, and all I have to my name is a medical degree and a bunch of experience birthing babies. It's not enough. Career alone is not enough."

Addison rose, looking down at Richard, who looked confused and sad. "I'm withdrawing my name from the board. I'm sure the boys will all be happy. After all, who wants a woman who likes girls as Chief, anyway?"

Turning on her heel, she walked out, wiping tears from her eyes. She stalked down the hallway, tear-blind, until she saw blonde curls and felt warm arms drawing her close, and all she could smell and hear was Izzie. 

"Shh, Addie, shh. Hey," said Izzie, wiping tears away from Addison's eyes. "It's okay. I never would have seen you if you had gotten Chief, anyway. I like it when we're late for work." She grinned and Addison put her hands up to cup Izzie's face.

"Do you know something?" she whispered, face an inch from Izzie's lips.

"What's that?" Izzie replied, sliding her hands under Addie's white coat.

"I . . . love . . . you . . ." Addison opened her mouth and captured Izzie's, closing her eyes for a long, sensual kiss, not caring if the Chief saw her – almost hoping he did.

Izzie rolled her tongue over Addison's, her hands moving over the attending's body. When the kiss ended, Izzie's eyes were glazed over with desire. "I'm sorry Richard said you wouldn't get it, Addie," she breathed.

"Oh, I would have gotten it. I chose a different path instead," Addie said, and drew Izzie close to her.

"I don't regret it."


	6. Disappears Again At Night

**Part 6A**

"Mmm . . ." Izzie rolled over in Addison's bed, slitting open her brown eyes against the bright, unfamiliar sunlight streaming through the wide windows. She sprawled an arm across the bed, accidentally hitting the dead-to-the-world attending, who woke up with a little startled shriek. "Ouch!"

"Oh, sorry, Addie," said Izzie, rolling over to face Addison, whose autumn-red hair spilled across the pillow as she turned over and flung an arm across her eyes.

"Stevens, honestly . . . if you can't wake up without flailing around like a seizure victim, I really wish you would go sleep somewhere else. As it is, I had to listen to you hiccupping again last night. You should get your stomach checked. You might have a diaphragm problem." Addison sounded grumpy, but she pulled the blonde closer to her as the disgruntled words fell from her lips. Izzie grinned.

"Well, maybe we should look at getting your sinuses checked, because you snorted several times last night and woke me up. Maybe you can't breathe properly," she teased, cuddling into Addison's warm arms and inhaling the older woman's special waking-up smell. Addison frowned, but her clear blue eyes were sparkling.

"I don't snort. And I don't know how you could have heard anything, being as you were sleeping so soundly that you didn't even move when I pushed you over to your side of the bed!" Addison pulled Izzie down to her and touched her lips to the blonde's, giving her the barest, softest kiss that she knew Izzie wouldn't be able to resist.

"You snort. Seriously. And I'm not going to argue with you about this anymore . . . we'll just have to sleep . . ." She trailed off as Addison ran her tongue tantalizingly down Izzie's collarbone. ". . . in separate beds, I guess." She gasped suddenly as Addison's white teeth closed around her bare nipple.

Addie looked up. "You were saying? Separate beds?" She continued her downward direction, trailing her tongue over Izzie's soft stomach. Izzie shuddered and clutched Addison's head, moving it still downward.

"Yes . . . separate beds . . . because I hate you so much . . . ah . . . more than anything . . . mmm . . ." Izzie arched her back and tangled her fingers in Addie's hair, bucking her hips up a little as Addie's tongue found its way into her nether regions.

Addison moved her hands up to Izzie's breasts as she worked at Izzie, feeling the blonde shiver and gasp as she traced circles around her clit. Izzie's breath hitched and she came, fingernails digging into Addison's head, legs tightening around Addie's torso.

"Mm . . . now I really hate you," Izzie murmured, closing her eyes. "I won't be able to get this out of my head all day."

Addie came up, resting her head on Izzie's chest, arms loosely wrapped around the blonde. "Well, that's what you get for talking so nasty . . ."

Izzie rolled over, out of Addison's arms. "I need to have a shower, and so do you. We're due at the hospital in an hour!"

Addison smiled lazily. "Well, you are. I'm an attending. I can do what I want."

Izzie punched her playfully. "No, you can't. You have a surgery at 9!"

Addison's smile abruptly disappeared. "Christ, you're right." She got up naked, walking to the bathroom quickly. "I get the first shower!" She quickly locked the door behind her just as Izzie's hand touched the doorknob.

"Addison!" Izzie wailed, banging on the door. "You won't get in trouble if you're late. I will!"

Addison giggled from inside the bathroom. "Shouldn't have reminded me, then." Her voice was drowned by the water slamming on.

Izzie pouted and sat on the bed, waiting her turn. There were three bathrooms in Addison's brownstone, but only one had a shower – the other full-piece had a claw-footed bathtub and the third was a powder room. When Addison came out, tossing her wet hair, Izzie was still sitting on the bed pouting.

Addison swatted her playfully. "Go and shower and stop pouting at me. The shower's free and I wasn't even ten minutes," she said, grinning.

Izzie simply pouted some more, her brown eyes wide and puppy-dog-like. "You knew I was going to be late, and you took it anyway. That wasn't very nice," she said, her voice a tad whiny.

Addison sighed impatiently, shimmying into some panties. "And yet, you're still sitting there. If you're really going to be late, you'd better hurry," she advised, rolling her eyes and snapping her bra into place.

Izzie got up and walked to the bathroom, throwing a pout over her shoulder as she closed the door behind her. Addison simply rolled her eyes again. She definitely wasn't in the mood for pouty interns this morning. The surgery that Izzie had so conveniently reminded her of was actually really important – a very high-risk C-section. Addison put on her favourite red dress and quickly blow-dried her hair.

Izzie came out of the shower and began to get dressed. She seemed to have forgotten the little spat from before. Pulling her hair up still wet into a ponytail, she asked breezily, "So will I see you for lunch?"

Addison was already deep in thought about the surgery and muttered, "I don't know – maybe," as she consulted her charts about her patient.

Izzie finished getting ready and came up to Addison, tugging on her sleeve. "Let's go."

Addison shrugged her off, annoyed. "Okay, okay." Izzie raised her eyebrows but said nothing and the two drove to work.

Izzie brushed a hand across her forehead tiredly. Since she'd gotten to work, it had been a non-stop day with a bad accident coming in. Five of the six cases had been surgical and Izzie had been running all morning, back and forth, suturing. She'd missed her chance to scrub in on the ruptured spleen, but she was grateful for the break and headed away while Bailey was distracted to find Addison.

Addison was chatting with Callie, leaning over the nurses' station and nursing a coffee. She looked tired, but she was smiling and laughing, so Izzie hoped that she was over her snit from this morning. It was unlike Addison to get impatient with her, so she was feeling a little nervous to approach her. Nevertheless, she was hoping to get a few minutes alone with Addie to chat, so she marched up anyway, Callie or no Callie.

Addison was laughing. "So, I make the first incision, and then Glenda remarks how it reminded her of a bum, in front of the patient, who is still awake . . . so the patient asks, "You can see her bum?" and I couldn't stop laughing . . ." She trailed off as she saw Izzie coming up to her. "Stevens, what can I do for you?"

Izzie smiled at her and then sort of nodded at Callie, who nodded back. "Just wondering if you had time for lunch now, like we discussed?"

Addison immediately shook her head. "No, I'm busy now, Stevens, I've got patients. If you haven't got enough to do, you could do some charting for me. I don't think I'll have time to do it this afternoon and it would be a big help." She pointed at some charts lying beside her. "You can come back to me when you're finished and I'm sure I can find you something, if Bailey hasn't got you tied up."

"Actually, she could do some charting for me, too," said Callie, eyeing Izzie a bit distastefully. "That is, Addison, if you can spare her. I could use an intern."

"Sure, whatever – let Dr. Torres know when you're finished, Stevens."

With that, Addie turned her back and walked with Callie a little more down the hall, leaving a very confused Izzie staring at the charts on the counter. She sighed loudly. "You know, I just can't stand that girl right now! She's so clingy . . . it's like every time I turn around, she's right there to ask me something. I just need a break, I guess . . ."

Callie nodded sagely. "Stevens has always annoyed me, so I understand."

Addison laughed. "Well, she annoyed you for a different reason . . . she was spending too much time with your husband. With me, I think it's because we've been spending too much time together. She's in my bed, she's at work with me . . . she's always around. I think I just need some time to myself."

Callie leaned forward, her luxurious black hair falling over her shoulders. "Well, Addison, I think as a busy surgeon, you deserve it. Frankly, I'm amazed you're not preparing more for the Chief job. You need to be on your game, but you could get it . . . Stevens will have to get used to you not being around. Although, frankly, I'm glad you're distracting her from my husband." Callie sighed. "Actually, George has been really distant, and I know this time it's not Izzie's fault. I have no idea what his problem is, because he won't tell me. Ever get that neglected feeling?"

Addison raised her eyebrows. "Well, not with Stevens, but have you forgotten Derek? I was the epitome of "neglected wife". He'd go away for days and just sleep at the hospital. It got to the point where I never saw him and barely spoke to him." She sighed and fidgeted with the string belt of her dress. "I used to just long for someone to touch me, to hold me, to look at me with something other than absence."

Callie nodded. "I can understand that. George never touches me. He just flops into bed and starts snoring. I understand being an intern . . . but I just don't get it. He's had more energy than this before, it's not like it got harder." She sighed. "I've been throwing myself into work, just to have something to do." She pushed her hair behind her shoulders and put a soft hand on Addie's arm. "I'm lonely, you know?"

Addison looked into Callie's depthless dark eyes and felt a frisson of desire. "Yes, I know . . ." She put her hand over Callie's. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

Callie sighed and broke the gaze. "Back to the old grind. Coffee later?"

"For sure." Addison gathered her Blackberry and stuffed it into her pocket. "Gotta check on Clingy."

Callie winked at her. "Have fun."

Addison walked back over to Izzie, who was charting with a vengeance, her lips closed tightly. "How's that charting going?"

Izzie looked up. "What is your problem, Addison? You're treating me like shit. I don't get it."

Addison frowned. "What are you talking about, Stevens? We're at work. You're my intern. I'm asking you for help. What in this picture is different than any other day?"

Izzie shrugged angrily. "You're being cold. You're with Callie and suddenly I'm just an intern, not your girlfriend. You haven't even told her you gave up the Chief job for me, have you?" She raised tear-filled brown eyes. "How come I can be your girlfriend at home but not at work? I'm not asking for a lot, here." She swiped at her eyes. "I just want some acknowledgement. Like a smile or something, some words that aren't orders . . ."

Addison suddenly lost her patience. "Izzie, I don't have time to indulge your clinginess. I am a surgeon. I have a job to do and I can't be stopping every five minutes to make sure that the instructions I give you aren't rude." She lifted her fingers in mock quotation marks. "If you want to follow in my footsteps, you need to suck it up and get moving." She turned her back. "I'm not going to have this conversation with you now. And, it'd be best if maybe you went home tonight to sleep. I have two surgeries scheduled tomorrow." With that, Addison clacked away down the hall.

Izzie's tears spilled over onto her cheeks and her face crumpled as she brought her hands up to cover her face. She left the charts where they were and ran into the linen closet, letting her breath out in an angry sob as she pulled the door shut behind her. What was Addison's problem today? Izzie felt humiliated and hurt. She wrapped her arms around herself and rested her head on her knees. She was so raw right now, what with George and all that crap that followed that situation. Addison had been so understanding and comforting, and now she was just sick of her. Well, that was fine with Izzie. She'd just avoid Addison for awhile. Two could play the cold game.

Addison found Callie and steered her around the corner, into an empty patient room. The feline look was on her face and she pushed her lips forward into a sexy pout. "Still feeling neglected?" she breathed, placing her hands on Callie's waist.

"Not anymore," said Callie and closed her eyes, waiting for Addison's kiss.

To Be Continued


	7. Just Another Ordinary Miracle Today

Heartbeats. They're the smallest units of life measurement. Every one ticks off another moment of life gone. They can be fast or slow, depending on moods, emotions, and situations. Heartbeats are the way we measure who we are, and rarely do we stop to listen to what our hearts are saying until it's too late.

A gunshot echoed through the main lobby of Seattle Grace Hospital, ricocheting in loud staccato off the floors and walls. White-coated doctors, scrub-clad nurses, business-suited executives and playclothes-clad children all hit the floor where they were as the dirty, bloody gunman came lurching through the hallway. His eyes were wild and his hair stood straight up from his head. Although his leg was severely lacerated, he didn't stop his forward momentum. Waving his gun, he fired twice more, hitting a little girl in the leg and effectively ending the life of an orderly who happened to be coming the wrong way down the hall. The gunman cackled and continued to limp his way through the corridor as a trembling receptionist lifted the phone to call the police.

Izzie, still weeping in the linen closet, lifted her head and listened as the comforting buzz of hospital noise outside the door escalated into screaming and scuffling – and was that a gunshot she just heard? The door rattled and then stopped. Izzie froze, then stared at the door, casting her eyes to the bottom, where the crack under the door glowed with the florescent lights of the hospital. A shadow moved, then stopped, then moved again. The noise outside of the closet grew fainter and Izzie relaxed.

Izzie suddenly had a moment of panic – Bailey would kill her if she was missing potential GSWs. Wiping her eyes roughly on the back of her hand, she reached for the locked handle of the closet door, but then paused. Suddenly, she felt apprehensive. Shaking the feeling off, the lock snicked open and she twisted the handle decisively. The door swung open, revealing the crazy eyes and yellowed teeth of the grinning gunman. Without a word, he raised his gun and pointed it straight at Izzie. Izzie reached for the sky.

Callie closed her eyes and opened her mouth just a little, imagining that she could feel Addison's body heat against her chest. In fact, she could feel Addison's breath on her lips and Callie reached a little, trying to find Addie's hot mouth. Their lips almost brushed, and then Callie felt Addison pull back. She opened her eyes.

The redhead was standing, back to Callie, leaning against the hospital bed. One hand was over her eyes and she was shaking her head slowly and muttering under her breath. To Callie, it sounded like, "Nonononononononono . . ."

Addison looked up. "Callie, oh my God, I'm so sorry . . . but I can't. I just can't. I'm not going to throw this away."

Callie simply stared at Addison. "I don't really believe I asked you to, Addison, but okay. You asked me to meet you here, I met you here, and we almost kissed. I'm not sure how that constitutes "throwing it away" when both you and I know that your little girlfriend has slept with my husband and is best friends with your ex-husband's mistress. I didn't really see it as anything but a little bit of payback for all the crap we've both went through. And, you said that she's been clingy and annoying. No one can really blame you for wanting to have a break. Izzie Stevens is intense, and she's damaged. Frankly, I admire you even taking her on."

Addison ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "I didn't "take her on". I love her. I don't know how I could have forgotten that. I'm attracted to you, Callie, but I can't give up what I have with Izzie. Shit . . ." She sighed. "I left her with tears in her eyes. What a way to treat her after everything she's been through."

"Well, what about you? What about what you've been through? She's pretty selfish, constantly sucking emotion out of you. In fact, she sucks it out of everyone. All she has to do is well up with tears and everyone's dying to give her a hug or sleep with her. She plays the Denny card and everyone's ready to move in with her. I don't know what the hell it is – Christ, even George thinks she's prettier than I am, and I'm his wife!" Callie rubbed a hand roughly across her eyes. "I'm tired of competing with Izzie Stevens. If you want me, Addison, you know where to find me. But in future? How about you not ask me to meet you somewhere and then tease me? I mean, I know I'm a poor second choice, but just for a minute – I thought you actually cared for me."

With that, she left the room.

Addison felt her face crumpling and tried desperately to hang onto her self-control. She'd been such a bitch to Izzie and the girl was only trying to be what Addison had encouraged her to be. Addie had encouraged her to commit and she did. Addison herself had trouble committing, she realized. She was feeling suffocated by her sweet little domestic diva. That was no excuse, however, to treat her like shit.

She opened the door and stepped out into the hall, only to turn tail and rush back in, slamming the door behind her and locking it. What the hell was going on? There was broken glass everywhere and the smell of gunfire in the air. Just as Addison had tried to leave, another gunshot had sounded, horrendously close. Scooching close to the window, Addison heard sirens coming closer to the hospital, and prayed that they were the police.

Izzie stared into the gunman's eyes and wondered why karma was being such a bitch to her lately. She felt her crotch grow hot and realized that in her fear, she'd wet herself. Great.

The gunman said nothing, but he poked the cold nose of the gun into the soft tissue of Izzie's stomach and grinned manically. Izzie didn't know what to do – should she try to talk him out of it? They were still in the closet, but the door was open. If she screamed, would anyone hear her? Would he shoot her if she made a noise? He wasn't telling her what he wanted. She stared desperately into his eyes, trying to will him to give her direction. Two tears slipped down her silken cheeks.

The gunman was a psych patient who had been released three days ago because he had apparently been fine. He had completed his therapy and had his medication, and had been released into the custody of his brother, who was giving him a place to stay while his wife finished renovations on their home. Perhaps he would have continued to be fine if he hadn't gone home that morning to find his wife in the arms of another man. To his fragile mind, just rehabilitated, it was too much, especially because he had pinned his recovery on her continued faith in him and their relationship.

Like a delicate glass vase, his mind had broken into a thousand pieces and without a word, he had taken the gun out of their desk drawer and calmly shot his wife's lover. As his wife screamed, he'd turned the gun on her and then on the family dog. After that, he'd left the house.

That had been three hours ago. No one could have really predicted why he decided to come back to the hospital – it could be that it was the last place with any familiarity to him. Now, he was fighting his personal demons again, but instead of letting them take over, he was shooting them. Or so he thought. Who can really comprehend the mind of a psych patient except for the patient himself?

The gunman pushed the barrel of the gun into Izzie's stomach, forcing her to the floor. She obeyed, shaking, feeling the grit of the floor on the exposed part of her back where her shirt had ridden up. Her head hit the floor with a dull knock and she lay as still as she could – only her terrified brown eyes glittered in the dull light as the gunman slipped a hand under her scrub pants and moved inexorably down.

Addison poked her head out as the dust settled outside of the hospital room. She heard a lot of wailing and screaming, and knew she'd be needed. As she rushed out, she met Derek Shepherd and Preston Burke running down the hallway. Derek simply reached out and grabbed Addison's arm, pulling her along with him.

"What the hell is going on?" Addison demanded. "All I heard was a bunch of gunshots!"

Derek's face was grim. "Former psych patient returned to the hospital with a gun and started shooting up the place. No one can find him – the police are combing the area. Apparently he injured ten people and killed three. Christ, why do people have guns in their home if they're not hunters?" He ran an agitated hand through his curls. 

Burke turned to Addison. "There will be a lot of GSWs, especially to the lower extremities. Apparently he was shooting people's feet out from under him, or so the nurses tell me. The Chief's already down there stitching up. Apparently at least six of the cases are surgical. Bailey's coming with her interns. We're gonna need all hands on deck – this one's a bad one."

They reached the main lobby and stopped dead. The scene that lay before them was terrifying. Broken and bloody people lay everywhere, bleeding out onto the white tiled floors. A little girl wailed beside her mother, clutching her arm, which was bleeding profusely. A man vomited blood onto a sheet while an intern struggled to restrain him. More patients looked on in horror while interns, doctors and nurses bustled back and forth with IVs, medicine and tubes. Out of habit, Addison scanned the interns flocking around Bailey and only felt a little alarmed when she didn't see a familiar blonde head among them. Maybe Izzie was helping further down the hallway.

Immediately the attendings swung into action. Burke was involved with a potential heart patient while Derek examined the bleeding head of a ten-year-old boy. Addison went to a pregnant woman who seemed to be unhurt, but she cradled her white-faced teenaged daughter in her arms, who, Addison learned, was also pregnant, and had been shot in the hip. Wonderful.

While Addison called out orders and demanded an intern (and got Alex Karev, to top things off), her mind kept returning to Izzie. Why wasn't she around? It had been at least fifteen minutes and the intern was due to present to Bailey, who was booming her name loudly around the lobby. No one seemed to know where the blonde intern was. All remembered last seeing her going to talk to Addison.

Addie felt miserable – she had sent Izzie away with a flea in her ear, but she wasn't about to tell anyone that. "I sent her to do some charting at the nurses' station down the hall. That's the last place I personally saw her," she said in a clipped tone as she and Alex struggled to stop the teenaged girl's bleeding. Alex didn't say anything, but put more pressure on the bandages.

Bailey rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't have any time for this, we've got at least six surgical cases and one of them's pregnant, Dr. Montgomery, so you'd better come over and look at her after this. If any of you suck-ups see Stevens, tell her she'd better report to me or she can report her ass right out of this hospital for the rest of her life!"

Izzie's breath was coming in short gasps as the gunman explored her nether regions roughly. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She had no way of knowing it, but the gunman's wife was blonde and brown-eyed, like Izzie, and this was the reason for the indignities taking place. All Izzie knew was that she was about to be raped and she was powerless to stop it. The gunman's body was positioned directly overtop of hers and she couldn't move, even if the gun wasn't poking roughly into her stomach. She started to moan involuntarily, but abruptly stopped as the gun jabbed her sharply.

Could she get the gun away from him? As the gunman began to unbuckle his pants with one hand, his eyes left the intern's for a split second to deal with the button on his jeans. In that second, Izzie brought her knee up and caught him full under the chin. His jaw, open with lecherous appreciation, snapped shut upon his tongue and he screamed, blood and saliva flecking from his mouth. His hand left his pants and flew to his mouth and the gun's sharp poke faded as his other hand went limp on the handle. Izzie took her chance – she grabbed the nozzle of the gun and forced it down, away from her stomach. She almost had it pointing on the floor when the gun went off and all Izzie could see was white-hot pain exploding against her eyes.

The gunman had pulled the trigger just as Izzie had the gun almost turned around and the bullet tore through the side of her thigh and exited through the soft tissue of her outer leg. It just avoided grazing her femur. Izzie cried out, but through the pain she saw the gunman's hand go slack on the gun as he thrashed his head in pain. Quick as a flash, she grabbed the gun and started shooting madly, not knowing if she was hitting him or not. The gunfire was deafening in the small space and the closet filled with smoke and the smell of exploded bullets.

Izzie kicked out with her unhurt leg for good measure and felt it connect with the solid form of the gunman. She passed out.

The sound of gunfire stopped all medical intervention as it echoed down the corridor closest to the main lobby. All heads flew up and everyone froze as they waited for the gunman to make a reappearance, framed in the entrance to the hallway. When no one appeared, Preston Burke left the side of his patient and ran down the hallway, pushing nurses out of his way and ignoring the angry calls of the Chief to stop. He spotted smoke billowing out of the linen closet closest to the nurses' station and flattening himself against the wall, he crept up upon the door, slightly ajar. He saw the dirty shoe of the gunman propping it open and braced himself.

Burke slinked along the wall and arrived at the entrance to the linen closet. Snaking a hand carefully around the handle of the door, he jerked it open and found the prone form of the gunman directly before the door. A goose egg was forming on his forehead. Just behind him, he found Izzie Stevens flat on her back, a pool of blood under her left leg.

Burke yelled back down the hallway. "I need some help down here! I need some help down here!"

Alex Karev looked up suddenly as Burke's voice filtered faintly into the din of the main lobby. Grabbing a stray orderly, he demanded, "Put your hands on this spot and don't move!" Once the bewildered orderly had done so, he took off down the hallway towards Burke, who was dragging the gunman out of the way of the linen closet door.

Alex skidded to a stop outside the closet and looked in to see Izzie on the floor, unconscious and bleeding out. He gasped and swore under his breath, kneeling quickly down beside her and grabbing a sheet from one of the shelves. He wrapped it tightly around the gunshot wound and reached for another, tying it tightly around the first. By this time, Burke was back with a gurney. Together, they lifted Izzie onto it and wheeled her quickly out into the main lobby. Callie was the first to respond, running up to the gurney. As soon as she saw who was on it, she didn't even stop to think. She bellowed, "Addison! Addison!"

Addie looked up from where she was loading her pregnant teenager onto a gurney to take her down to MRI. She could have sworn she'd heard her name. Well, it was just going to have to wait. She had to go to that other pregnant woman now and then she had to find Izzie.

Callie shouted Addison's name again. "For Christ's sake, Addison! Get your redheaded ass over here!"

Addison finally heard her name and looked up in annoyance at Callie. "What? I'm busy!"

"You're not too busy for this," Callie insisted, dragging Addison over to the gurney she was standing beside. As soon as Addison saw Izzie, pale and unconscious, her stomach dropped and she gasped, feeling her chest tighten. 

"Addie? Addison, sit down for a minute, she's all right . . . the bullet went through and the bleeding's stopping." Callie's voice seemed to be coming from far away. Addison struggled to focus and was glad when a nurse shoved a cup of water into her hands.

"Where was she shot?" Addison was all professional surgeon now. "Where's the gunman?"

"Burke's got him restrained. She must have kicked him hard – she knocked him out. Shepherd's going to need to check for a hematoma. She was shot in the leg, through the thigh, but it didn't hit the bone. She should heal well once we stop the bleeding." As Callie talked, Alex nodded. "Bleeding's stopped, but she'll need a transfusion."

Izzie's eyes fluttered and opened. She coughed weakly and tried to raise her head. Callie immediately went to her, her voice soft. "Don't try to move, Izzie. You've been shot. Can you tell us what happened?"

"Bastard tried to rape me . . . Addison! Where's . . . where's Addison?" Izzie began to cry. "I want Addison."

Addie let out a sob and went to Izzie's side. "I'm right here, sweetheart, Addison's here. Where does it hurt? Did he touch you?"

Izzie shook her head, rolling it back and forth on the gurney. "He tried . . . he put his hands down my pants, but I kicked him and he dropped the gun, and then I kept shooting and kicking until he went down, and then . . . I don't . . . I don't . . ." She coughed again, rubbing her stomach.

Addison gently pulled up Izzie's shirt to reveal a nasty bruise on her stomach. "What's this?"

"He had his gun there . . . he pushed it in my stomach." Izzie suddenly began to sob, hard, her breath hitching. "I hurt . . . everything hurts. And I wet my pants," she said, looking down at herself. "He scared me . . ."

Addison ran a hand through Izzie's soft blonde hair. "That's the least of your worries now, sweetie, but we'll get you changed. Now I'm concerned about that leg." The blood arrived and Alex took Izzie's left arm, trying to find a vein. He got the needle in and the blood began to flow.

Izzie looked up at Addison with teary eyes. "Where did you go? I called you but you didn't come. Why didn't you come? Why were you so angry?" She sniffled. "I love you, Addison . . . I want you to love me too."

"I do love you, Isobel Stevens . . . I love you more than you know. I was an idiot, I never should have left you today, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you . . ." Addison covered Izzie's tear-stained face with kisses. "I promise not to leave you again."

Izzie closed her eyes and clung to Addison with her free arm as Alex worked around her and the chaos faded as the gunman was taken away by the police out the main doors.

Two weeks later, Izzie was trying to walk on crutches. "This isn't as easy as it looks," she complained. "It hurts my arms."

Addison giggled from her place on Meredith's couch. The two had moved into Izzie's old room so that Alex and Meredith could look after Izzie while she convalesced. Addison was the main caregiver, but she knew she couldn't deprive the intern's friends the pleasure of caring for Izzie, who was a demanding patient who tried to manage everyone and everything. Over the course of the two weeks, Addison had realized how much she actually liked Izzie's friends, weird and judgy as they were.

George had been by the house to visit Izzie, and the two seemed to be settling back into their best-friends relationship, but Addison knew from nightly talks with Izzie that it would never be the same again. Izzie seemed to be okay with this. As for Addison's relationship with Callie; well, their friendship was suffering, which was actually hard on Addison. However, she wasn't going to push it. They both needed time to heal the wounds in their relationships first, and Callie was stubborn. She forgave, but she didn't forget.

Izzie was looking much better. Having been pale and whiny for the majority of the time she'd been healing, she now was pink and healthy, and no longer needed anyone's help to dress or get to the bathroom. She even was up for a little light romance, and Addison had found new ways to please Izzie in the bedroom that had nothing to do with movement of the legs.

Izzie abandoned the crutches for now and came to sit beside Addison, nosing her way into Addie's soft neck. Addison leaned over to kiss her.

"I love you," said Izzie, smiling up into Addison's face, her eyes dropping closed as Addison leaned down and captured her mouth with her own. They shared a gentle kiss.

"I love you, too, Izzie." Addison wrapped her arms around the intern and rested her red head against the blonde's curls.

"And you'll always love me? You won't be weird?"

"I won't be weird. Why do I feel like we're drawing up a marriage contract?"

"Well . . ." Izzie grinned, and pulled something out of the back of her jeans. In her hands were two plane tickets to Massachusetts.

"What are these for?" Addison looked at her quizzically.

"Massachusetts is one of the only states that supports gay marriage," said Izzie slyly.

"We'll see, you monkey. Get better first."

"We don't need a legal contract anyway. You're my little woman," said Izzie, smiling.

Addison giggled. "I think I'm the dominant one in this relationship!" She tickled Izzie lightly, delighting in the intern's laugh.

"I don't care," said Izzie, closing her eyes. "I seriously just . . . love you."

Addison leaned down and kissed the top of Izzie's head, stroking her back and cuddling her close. "Ordinary words, but they mean so much."

Izzie slitted her eyes open. "Addison Montgomery, you are anything but ordinary. You're a constant surprise."

"And you are a constant miracle." Addison kissed Izzie again. "Mine, all mine."

_It's just another ordinary miracle today._


End file.
